Outspoken Linguists


a creative space for raw, progressive writing

Just Feeling

fear, doing me a solid—can’t find the words

to say, or enough compulsion to get my feet

 

to take me there, say what i’m thinking, or

relate as much as i'd to want to—in my head

 

how’d i go from courageous, fearless, animated,

curious—to living behind a veil seeing

 

a shadow of myself interact

a shadow with no essence

 

glorifies my most desired traits

that never come to pass

 

fear rules me left, right, past, present, future

i knew better, i know better

can’t act though, i’m trapped,

making excuses, i’m confined

to writing, reading, watching,         

bystanding—is it really even me, the shadow i see?

can it be me some day? do i want it to be?

 

how many times do i have to envision

this shadow doing what i would do

before I act on it?

i inhale into my stress,

my tightness—exhale positive energy and self-actualization;

it’s temporary—a breath to slow down, tell me i got it

when in reality, my shadow has the intention

lack of self-judgment, ability to clear the noise—

silence the inner critic. for now,

i’ll accept myself, as i am without it

a projection of me—an unrealized energy source, sad

to say it, but forget value judgments

for now, and hopefully in time i’ll outgrow my familiar shadow

see my face placed within its face... the pain in self-awareness is

a never ending chase on repeat: keep

pushing, never settle, self-optimize

but still

i fear the consequence of what happens after one shadow dies...

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